I forgot to get somebody to take a full length photo of my outfit the other weekend (requested by an anon on Tumblr) but luckily, being the self-obsessed weirdo I am, I managed to take some bad quality webcam photos before I went out that night. The shirt was a long sleeved, children's size 12 shirt that was $5 from Target (the perks of being as small as a ten year old girl) which I wore over a plaid Dangerfield bustier dress accompanied by my red Ked's wedges. 

Oh and by the way, guys. This is Sylvie; my kitten.
I respectively named her after my favourite poet, Sylvia Plath. She means more than anything to me and I imagine that she will be mentioned a lot on this blog so here she is:

 

"For I am uncaught and still swimming alone in the lake."

I can't really think of anything worth blogging about right now but since an anon on Tumblr seemed the slightest bit interested, I thought I'd do the polite thing and write about something.

In 2011, I found myself in a very dark place. My immediate family had fallen apart, I couldn't bear school, I was in a very unhealthy relationship, my friendships all seemed somewhat fake and I was overall very unhappy to the point where I didn't think I'd be alive and writing this post right now.

With that being said, by December of last year I had learned to deal with my family being split up, enrolled in a new school, gotten out of the unhealthy relationship of one year, severed all friendships that weren't genuine and taught myself to be happy.

I came into this year butt naked on Aldinga Beach (100% sober, may I add) with some of my closest friends and I can't think of a better way to start such a brilliant year.
 Nothing spectacular has happened but the fact that I am happy is enough for me to assume that this will be the best year of my life so far.

I feel like I have a lot more control over my life now. I no longer drink, smoke, partake in drug taking, engage in sexual acts without commitment, converse with people I don't like purely to be polite, let anyone push me around or make my decisions. I plan to take on the vegan lifestyle as of a few weeks from now. I live by my rules now and my expectations. It's the most liberating feeling when I'm in control of my body and my life.
 
I'm doing surprisingly well at school. The last time I got an A was in year 8 woodwork when the teacher called me "sunshine" and did all of my assignments for me. So far I've gotten four A's and two B's and it's only the first term. I am hella good.
I go to a private school in the city that I am paying for myself so if I don't go and/or don't do well it's my money and my time that I am wasting. Self taught responsibility is my aim.
I finally told my mother that I really do not want a career in science and that I'd prefer to do something within Criminal Justice, Gender Studies or fashion and she accepted that which was very pleasing as she has had very high hopes for her future Forensic Scientist daughter.


As for family, I'm trying not to immerse myself in a lot of their pitiful drama and so far that is working. I've become closer to my mother since everything fell apart which is sort of a win/lose situation but I am just glad that I don't clash with her anymore. I was honestly starting to hate her last year but thank goodness it didn't get to that point.


I don't really hang out with as many as I did in 2010 which is alright though because a lot of those friends were very superficial and I would find myself really detesting being affiliated with such people at times. In the present day I usually just hang out with one or two people on the weekend in the city or go to a local gig with my friend Jonno.
I've made a few new friends at my new school which I think is nice because I honestly think I am a very unfriendly person at times so it's honestly surprising that anyone would want to communicate with me.


I think the only downer that I have experienced this year have been the surfacing of my otherwise bottled daddy issues. My parents separated seven years ago and I haven't seen my father in six years so I don't know why it is only now that I have had all these thoughts cloud my mind. I don't really care about my father anymore. I've lost all respect for him and never wish to see/speak to him again. Yet for some reason, I lie awake at night thinking about how if he hadn't of fucked up, how better off the entire family would have been. With all this going on, I have learned to suppress my emotions towards those kinds of things better which I think is a handy thing to have if you're going to have deep down daddy issues (DDDI).


I'm going to start applying at a few clothing stores in the CBD in the next few months as I would like some funds so that I can pursue some fashion ideas that I have had accumulating in my head since birth. I have designed many outfits, some with items that I could easily buy and others I will probably end up making myself. Keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming fashionista (me). I have become very pretentious about fashion lately and undoubtedly, I think everyone has noticed which doesn't really bother me as I do actually have a wide knowledge of fashion (perks of being a rich child when I was younger). The only thing that bugs me is when people who quite obviously do not know a thing about fashion try and relate to me and will say something with n o  knowledge of the subject. How embarrassing for you. [me being RUDE]

I got unlimited internet about a month ago so I have obviously been abusing the illegal downloads. One thing that I have found myself growing very fond of lately in film and television are partnerships. Whether it be friendship, relationship with a family member, love, lust or even an infatuation. I'm so intrigued by it all. Maybe it's because I find it hard to be close to another person or maybe I haven't realised how lonely I am. Whatever it is, who cares. Enjoy some images of my favourite partnerships while I get some much needed shut eye.

- L

Susanna and Lisa
Girl, Interrupted

Jake and Finn
Adventure Time

Gir and Zim
Invader Zim

Ash and Kristofferson
Fantastic Mr. Fox

Cameron, Ferris and Sloan
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Duckie and Andie
Pretty in Pink

Brak and Zorak
The Brak Show

Sydney and Peter
I Love You, Man

Morrissey and Johnny Marr
(yes, they count)
The Smiths

Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

First post!

I felt like I needed a place to vent and share anything I really wanted to as I don't feel it is necessary to burden my friends with every thought that crosses my mind and this way people can choose whether or not they want to become involved with my exact thought process rather than them not particularly having a choice. I'll try not to post any passive aggressive posts but I can't promise anything ;>


- L